New Moon: It just goes on and on

Sometimes you just have no choice but to give in. I watched New Moon because my cousin, who is apparently a fan of the saga (she has all the books), forced me to borrow her pirated DVD copy of the movie. I accepted because I was worried that if I didn't, she would instead insist on letting me read all the books. Uhm, no.

New Moon is the sequel to the 2008 film Twilight and is based on the second book of the Twilight series of novels by Stephenie Meyer. The movie follows Bella, now eighteen, as she battles teenage angst, sexual tension, and age woes to boot with her sparkly vampire lover, Edward, and the mostly half-naked werewolf bestfriend, Jacob.

The cast is composed of actors and actresses I don't really care about: Kristen Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner.

WHY I LIKE IT

The first half of the movie is nicely paced and action-packed enough to make me forget how much I'm not really enjoying Kristen Stewart's sad, mopey face and her equally sad, mopey narration.

I like the twist in the werewolf mythology wherein Jacob and his packmates only turn into werewolves when a bad vampire is around. I also like that they're not portrayed as half-man half-wolf but actually living, breathing wolves, only huge and CGI. It's so...Blood & Chocolate.

Martin Sheen playing a vampire cracked me up, not because his character was funny but because of the little inside joke: he played Lucian, the alpha werewolf in the werewolves vs. vampires films, Underworld and its sequels.

I like Alice (as well as all the other Cullens, except Edward). A scene with Alice in it is suddenly a lot better. She's like this bright, little pocket of sunshine in an otherwise gloomy, overly melodramatic film.

Team Jacob!

WHY I DON'T LIKE IT

The list never ends. Are you ready?

Bella Swan annoys the crap out of me. She was tolerable in the first movie but in New Moon she takes "in love with her own misery" to virtually new heights.

Bella's age woes. She's eighteen, for god's sake. Being old would be the last thing anyone at that age would be worried about.

Kristen Stewart's droning, lackluster monologue.

Jacob Black takes off his shirt to wipe a tiny scratch on Bella's face. It's like, he just couldn't wait to show off his manly muscles.

Edward appearing as Bella's hallucination.

Robert Pattinson's medium hairy body.

The movie is agonizingly slow in the middle part before it ends abruptly with a breakup and a proposal. Huh?!

THE VERDICT

I am still not sold on the fandom but at this rate, I'll be watching the upcoming sequels as well. For shame.

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