The Complete Substitute for All Forms of Sociability

*PHOTO CREDIT: Got this from Facebook friends. I don't know who originally made this. If this photo is yours and you want it taken down or your name to be credited, please leave a comment.

Review class in Negotiable Instruments Law… PROFESSOR: What constitutes valuable consideration? Can anybody here tell me? You, Mr. —, if for instance you execute a promissory note, saying that because of love and affection, you promise to pay P10,000 or order to Ms. ___ who then negotiates to Mr. X. When the note becomes due and demandable, will you pay Mr. X? STUDENT: No, sir. PROFESSOR: Why not? STUDENT: Because love and affection is not a valuable consideration. PROFESSOR: You mean to say that your love has no value at all?

Discussing the questions in the Mock Bar Exam in Taxation… PROFESSOR: …well, from this, you can tell that the examiner is a practitioner and probably a CPA. I have a few names in mind. STUDENT 1: Atty. A? STUDENT 2: Probably Atty. B. PROFESSOR: Yes, could be. They’re both CPAs. You know, they were my students before. STUDENT 2: Who was brighter, sir? PROFESSOR: Well, you can’t really compare these things. They were both bright students. STUDENT 1: Okay, then who is prettier?

“An interlocutory order is like an ugly woman. It has no appeal.” ~ Remedial Law Professor

The Mock Bar Exam is one of the toughest exams every law student ever has to take, not counting the actual Bar Exam. In the morning before the Mock Bar Exam in Remedial Law ( the toughest bar subject for most people because it deals with the Rules of Court and other procedural aspects of the law)… PROFESSOR: (calling out to a couple of nervous-looking students) Naa ko’y tips. STUDENTS: Unsa man, sir? PROFESSOR: Rules of Court.

Art. 157, Family Code: “The actual value of the family home shall not exceed, at the time of its constitution, the amount of Three hundred thousand pesos in urban areas, and Two hundred thousand pesos in rural areas, or such amounts as may hereafter be fixed by law. PROFESSOR: So I guess this refers to a kariton….with power windows.

Chinese New Year and Midterms exam in Problem Areas in Legal Ethics. Professor walks in and looks quite surprised to see the front row seats virtually unoccupied. PROFESSOR: Why are you all sitting at the back? Is that for unethical purposes? CLASS: (indignant) Mam! Feng shui!

PROFESSOR: All right, Mr. ____. What’s your take on the question? You said you studied. STUDENT: Yes, Ma’am. I studied for three hours. PROFESSOR: You know when taking the bar, you have to study for at least 12 hours everyday. STUDENT: Ma’am, I studied for six hours last night. PROFESSOR: Okay. So what’s your answer? STUDENT: Ma’am, I agree with Mr. ___. PROFESSOR: And this is the result of nine hours of study.

PROFESSOR: …What is meant by the “Neighborhood Rule?” Is it that you write only the first name of two candidates sharing the same name in the ballot and because you are neighbors with one then your vote is counted in his favor? I have this student who said that a “scatter-shot” warrant is one where the person is everywhere and you shoot him. Next time I’m going to photocopy answers like this. Is it a violation of his intellectual property rights? I know it’s not an intelligent right. CLASS: (laughs) PROFESSOR: Why are you laughing? Do you know what a “scatter-shot” is?

PROFESSOR: Any questions? (long pause) Class, do you understand ?? CLASS: Sir, it’s a grey area.

PROFESSOR: …oh, so what you’re saying is that suffrage is a right and not a “right and a privilege”? STUDENT: Yes, ma’am. In my own point of view, which I think is wrong.

PROFESSOR: (giving exam instructions) For Set A, there are 8 multiple choice questions. Choose not just the right answer but the best answer and explain briefly. For Set B, there are 12 essay questions – CLASS: Huh??? PROFESSOR: What’s so "huh" about that?

PROFESSOR: Mr. ____, what are the instances wherein a negotiable instrument may be payable on demand? CLASSMATE: Section 7 provides for five instances wherein a negotiable instrument is payable on demand. PROFESSOR: You say there are five. How come I have seven? CLASSMATE: (glances down at the book)…. Ah, Ma’am, there are seven. I’m sorry I forgot to…highlight that part.

"Study the law, but memorize the exceptions." ~ Property Law Professor "If you don't understand, memorize." ~ Credit Transactions Professor

"Class, don’t re-arrange the law. Just the facts." ~ Property Law Professor

CLASSMATE: Ikaw ra nag-koan sa imo hair? JUTE: Ga-pa-parlor ko. CLASSMATE: Giunsa man? JUTE: Gi-shampoo, hot oil, 'nya blow -- CLASSMATE: Blowjob...unya? JUTE: ...Wa nako gipa-blowjob ako hair oi.

Maybe it's just me but I never fail to enjoy teasing my 5-year-old nephew, Thirdy. ME: Titi. (NOTE: titi is an old Visayan term for "older brother;" it's barely used these days) THIRDY: Dili Titi! (I'm not Titi!) ME: Ingon ba diay ko ikaw Titi? (Was I referring to you?) THIRDY: Kinsa Titi? (Then who is Titi?) ME: Ikaw. (You.) Sometimes, the teasing would take the form of: ME: Bye, Titi! THIRDY: Dili Titi! ME: Aw di diay? Kinsa diay ka? (No? Then who are you?) THIRDY: Spider-man. ME: Bye, Titi Spider-man. And chaos ensues. XD Ah kids. They're cute and all but I prefer to keep them at armslength while teasing them mercilessly.