The Complete Substitute for All Forms of Sociability

The dog is chasing its tail. Half an hour ago, it suddenly decided that this is a worthy activity. I thought it was amusing at first. Now, I'm just confused. I want to yell, "Stop! What's the point?" But 1) it can't understand me; and 2) people might think I'm crazy for talking to yelling at an animal. So I sit here at a little window table in a little coffee shop just around the corner, staring at this little shi tzu  half-breed, chasing after the elusive. The waitress is someone new. I've never seen her before and her inexperience in the service industry shows in the way she messes up my order. I think, "Hey, moron, I ordered Fro-Reo. What the fuck is this?" But I don't actually say that and the manager comes over and personally apologizes. I feel cheap, appeased by a mere apology, but I'm not particular like that. Most of the time, I don't mind. It's just today. There was a pile of ash inside the red-lacquer wooden box surr...

"I'll try to be as vague as possible," said Takya apropos to nothing. This declaration was made over a cup of mocha frapp grande and pretzels. Ran didn't even look up from the cellphone message she was perusing. "Hm-hm." "So I don't hurt his feelings...you know?" Takya continued. "He's really sensitive. And... emotional ." The last word was said with a little bit of emphasis. Ran finally closed her phone, took a sip of her coffee (black, hot, no sugar), sighed, because this wasn't the first time she's had this conversation with the same person. "You mean the usual 'it's not you, it's me' speech?" "I have to tread my ground carefully, choose my words -- " "He's not an idiot," Ran interrupted. "-- I wish he wasn't!" Takya whined.

1. The alarm clock gave a nasty electronic beep , forcing him into wakefulness. Even so, he did not open his eyes right away, trying not to remember that it was somebody else’s alarm clock, that he was sick with hangover and that he just buried his father yesterday. But it all came pounding back -- the funeral, the reception held at the hotel, the drunken night out. The woman next to him finally reached over and turned off the alarm. He kept his eyes shut. He remembered the frenzied drunken sex, the kind only two strangers could have, but he did not want to open his eyes and see her. All he wanted was to stumble out of there while she slept and leave it all behind. The alarm killed all chances of that. She was awake now and the room was starting to fill with that awkward silence. After some length, he cleared his throat at the same time she apparently decided to speak. “Who was drunker last night, you or me?” She asked. There was still sleep in her voice.